"i walk the boards alone tonight and try to fill this empty space inside my chest

i took atlantic home tonight and every neon light, and sign, spelt out your name
and every morning that i wake
i make a point to check the date incase i slept an extra day
i've crossed so many numbers out
but every time i count them there are so much more"
dave melillo - sam's song

So i've not blogged properly for a good few days. nothing amazing has been happening. everything is just same old and dull to be honest. i'm slowly getting myself into a routine which is a good thing because i get stuff done easier now. well, within reason.

hmmmm. i have work to do but well, work is never appealing. ever. i've done some already anyway, i just need to finish this last part. i'll give you a quick summary of the last few days.

friday i didn't do anything exciting as per. infact i don't even remember what i did...hmmm.

yesterday i went into stockport and manchester with sheridan. we both had to get some photos printed for our portfolios, i got 36 done for £9.90. i think there's 36, i may have miscounted. now i need to actually put my portfolio together. meh. but yeah, we went put sorted that out, went into superdrug to see will, didn't cause he was on till, went into town, sheridan bought some trousers and a skirt and then i went and got my sister, charlottes camera sorted and then into the art cafe for a little tea drinking/relaxing/telling of the bad jokes time. it was nice. then we went back into stockport picked up our prints and both went our serperate ways. oh my god. i've also been learning if i were a boy by beyoncé on keyboard. it's so fun! and i learnt the chorus of rihannas disturbia. easypeasy that chorus ahah.

today i haven't done much, it's been a nice day really, i've just relaxed. although when i was doing my 365 photo, it started to snow!! i love snow but it meant i had to put a tea towel over my camera and i was also running in and out drinking some of my tea to try and keep warm. not fun. it's like 3'c or something according too bbc weather forecast. nice eh? ha. so now i'm doing bits of my history, the odd job for my mum and listening to music. hmmmm, so much random stuff in my head right now!

so i'm going to do some more work now so i can relax for the rest of tonight. my deadlines thursday. wish me luck.

love, victoria.

"let me hold you for the last time,

it's the last chance to feel again,
but you broke me now i can't feel anything...
when i love you,
it's so untrue,
i can't even convince myself,
when i'm speaking,
it's the voice of someone else."
james morrison - broken strings

i've been listening to airport by the spinto band since sunday, when lisa sent it me (thanksthankss!!!) on repeat, to and from school and then again later on when i'm sat messing on the computer. i can't stop listening to it at all, it makes me excited and sad all at once! the thought of seeing the spinto band again in less than a month makes me like o.o It's not sunk in properly yet, i'm so freakin' excited!

hmmm. i've been writing this blog for abotu 30 minutes now, i stopped whilst i was looking at photos...so back to this blog anyway.

i've just been reading some postsecrets that are on flickr. funnily enough a lot link to people not being able to say what they want to someone and always regretting it. or doing something wrong and wishing they could go back. it's sad how we can't be honest to the people that mean most to us when we really need to be. but then i guess that's what some people do to you, make it hard for you too tell them how you feel honestly. it does make me wonder though, as you get older does it become easier for you to be more honest? or is it easier to hide things from people or lie to people? and as for doing things wrong and wishing you could go back, i think we're meant to have times like that because if your in the same situation again, you know this time that you'll regret it in the future, we need to learn more from our mistakes instead of just regretting them and wondering what it'd be like if you hadn't done/said that...(i do that all the time but i think now i'm learning from it, finally)

I think i've blabbered on enough for tonight. i feel sorry for anyone that reads my blogs, sometimes i just have to rant on here because if not it'll all be floating round my head for a while and it'll mean more day dreaming for me. i can't wait for it to be light again for longer.

i hope everyones good and that your all taking care of yourselves!

love, victoria

"so many destination faces going to so many places,

where the weather is much better,
and the food is so much cheaper.
well i help her with her baggage for her baggage is so heavy,
i hear the plane is ready by the gateway to take my love away.
and i can't believe that she really wants to leave me and it's getting me so,
it getting me so..."
the spinto band - airport (cover, click to listen, i've had it on repeat :D)

i feel good today. i had 2 nice phone calls which is always a bonus.
i'm so sleepy, i'm not sure how i'm going to get up tomorrow. hmmmm. i did a cinderella jigsaw before, it was really cool, i want to do some more. anyone got some jigsaws they can lend me? i forgot how much i liked them lol. i even got to see some stars earlier. i love stars.

i'm so excited for this year. (it's took me 25 days to realise that this year could be amazing if i do certain things)

hearts an fly is going to get somewhere, we're going to take over the world. (well maybe not but the schofield sisters will take over the world at some point and in some way!)
the leftover sessions - we will definately take over some part of the music related world. we have interviews coming up with quite a few people which excites me a hell of a lot. seriously.
projects - i'm going to plan ahead for my photos and stuff. i'm not happy with how there turning out so the only way to make sure i am is by planning.
i need to make a timetable to follow, if not i just do nothing. i refuse to do nothing, i have to many ideas to do nothing.


i am feeling great. (I wont be saying that tomorrow morning.)

love, victoria. xxxxxxxxx



p.s dear world, i am in love with you. lots of love, me.

it will all make sense

so i decided to start a blog up of my own. i've decided it will be like the scrapbook of my days, it'll be nice to have somewhere to write about whatever i want, quote lyrics, post photos and stuff, yeah. i'm always afraid of forgetting things that have happened so if i blog them once they've happened, i can read over them and remember things that i will eventually forget at some point no doubt...

it's strange really...i was thinking the other day, if you want to live until your about 80, as soon as you hit 20, that's 1/4 of your life, gone. and what do you have to show for it? regrets? i remember reading somewhere, "don't regret what you do, regret what you don't" and i truly think that's right. lifes about living, making friends, losing friends, falling in love, falling out of love, making mistakes, having good times, having bad times, laughing, doing things wrong, having problems, solving problems, not understanding, making an impression, going over and over memories of certain days/times...and so much more.

i wish i could remember this more as it'd probably stop me feeling so weird at times. sometimes, i hate the fact i get into books so much and end up wishing i was one of the characters, but then i don't at times, i like dreaming about stuff that might never happen to me, i like being able to think over little things to myself, even if it does involve being strange enough to wish i was a book character. sometimes i feel like i don't know what direction my life is going in, and sometimes it bothers me, in a way i'd like to know what lifes gonna throw at me, but i also like suprises, things i don't expect happening.

i'm not really sure what else i can say really, but i think i'll update this pretty much every day this time, because like i said up there, i'm afraid of forgetting the little things and stuff like that.

- love victoria XX

P.s i'm doing a selfportrait a day for a year, so i'll post my picture from that day at the end of every blog, up until i finish, and probably post a lot of other pictures too!! (i'm on day 61 by the way.)