The last letter.

Dear you, you and you,

This is something I never planned, or hoped to have write about, at the time the hardest thing to do was to talk about what was going on, I am not one for talking about my feelings as it is, and as talking about it would only upset me and those around me more, and as I have 3 younger sisters, falling apart would not be an option, and even if it was, I am not the type of person to do that. I come from a family of strong women and I'm one to keep hope and not let the negative thoughts over ride the positive that I had.

When your there for a friend when they are going through something, when the same thing, or something similar happens to you, surely thinking they'd be there for you too wouldn't be too much to think of a person? Surely, You'd be able to go to this friend and talk to them?

But sometimes a friend has too many things going on, and you live too far to see them often, and you are obviously not going to ring them and tell them when they are out with friends, that's the last thing you'd want to do, spoil what their doing just for you. It seems rather selfish to me, so why would I do that? You feel yourself losing contact with this person and at a time like this, you want to sort it out but you also want to be their for your family.

My Grandad was a proud, strong man, and it's never right - or nice, seeing someone you've grown up with, and looked up to, go from being witty, sarcastic, running about, and happy, to the complete opposite. It's hard to sit by someone you love and watch them struggle to speak, drink, or walk and in the end, seeing them bed ridden, and it's not something I ever want to have to do again, or i'd ever want anyone to go through. I made the most of that time with him because if i'd of dwelled on the situation I would of been forced to tears, He wouldn't of wanted that. It's easy to let yourself dwell on the negative things that are yet to happen, than to remain positive and not allow yourself to be consumed with sadness and despair, when you know only dark days lie ahead. I was never forced to go to see him, as my family would never force that upon any of us but I felt I should be there, not just for him, but for my family.

He was admitted on the 5th June and then around 2 weeks later released. He wasn't meant to be released. I remember going to see him in hospital and he walked us to the door of his ward and waving us off, That's the last time I saw him as near to I had growing up. When he was released, we were told he had from a few weeks to a few months. It went downhill from there, medical assistance was little to none, and the little he had was a shambles. To think a man who had paid his taxes all his life was not given the medical treatment he needed to stop the pain makes me feel sick. The whole medical system was a joke to be honest, and I hope no other families go through what ours did. He died on the 2nd of July, Less than a month after going to hospital. He was 79, He'd of turned 80 on August 15th. I remember he kept getting a temperature and we needed fans and at the time we only had a little hand held one, so my aunty put me in charge of holding it whilst she went into the attic to find a bigger one, She said something along the lines of "I'm leaving Victoria in charge of the fan now, God help you eh!" and his face twitched and he made a noise, as if he'd understood and was laughing. My aunty and mum were always talking to him and it was nice because every now and then you would get a little twitch or noise, and these are some of the last memories I have with him, and although they seem small, they mean a lot, not just to me, but to my family.

During that time I didn't have time to talk to you properly, I was at my Aunties everyday seeing him. You didn't ever, not even once, send a text asking how I was, How any of us were. A simple text. When I thought I'd sorted everything out with you, you were off somewhere and we planned to speak when you got back. A couple of texts were sent, but nothing more. No effort was made on either parts, but then when I tried recently, you threw it back in my face, You didn't really have much to say to me was it? And all those sly digs I've picked up on. I think it's really pathetic that someone who was once a close, good friend, doesn't 'really have much to say to you' and can sit playing the victim. You let it happen. Not just me. Stop blaming me.

You'd think when you look back at all the good times we've had, you'd realise your being stupid, but you don't seem to, You stretch yourself so far with friends and can't keep up. You'd think our friendship would mean just a fucking little bit to you. It really, really annoys me, I've never felt so angry and upset at once thinking about it. But you know what? One day you'll see something that reminds you of me, and it'll be too late, you won't be able to pick up the phone because this time, I won't be there.

But then there are the people who were there for me, I have the people who have stood by me, through it all, and not disappeared and said it was up to me to tell them what's going on, Those people are the friends I hope never to lose. The ones that I do, and always will count on because when I needed them most, they were there. If they ever need me, I hope they know that I'm here for them too.

Yours Sincerely,

You.

i got a new blog...

www.seasonspassmeby.wordpress.com

sorry blogspot. i update the other more, it's like when you get something new and don't want to stop messing with it. shame i have to keep stopping myself posting certain things because i know a certain someone will use it against me in future. shame really.

i miss mollie

end of.

"it's just another bad dream,

just another little scare,
it's just another little nightmare,
only you forgot to close your eyes

it's just another silence,
your working hard to fill,
you could throw another tantrum,
but better still, just throw your hands up,
and let yourself love
let yourself love
let yourself be loved"

so it's been a while since i last blogged. let me check how long...oh, not THAT long, i thought it'd been longer than 6 days. oops! last week was awful, minus friday night/weekend, everything that could go wrong, did and it was one of the worst weeks ever, well that i can remember of anyway.

von came down from glasgow on friday night as me, her, mary and charlotte were going to adventure to liverpool to see the one and only, maccabees. so after i met her at the coach station, we met mary in nexus and chilled while i let out anger and all that shiz from during the week. i'm suprised i didn't throw a few punches whilst letting the anger out. damn. but yeah, we ventured back to mine where charlotte was. von cut my fringe for me :D. so yeah, we made a cake, dinosaur one of course, and ended up being up til like 2-3am doing it.

we got up early the next day to go to liverpool. man, i don't even want to go into detail of saturday because it was amazing. i've not even sunk in for me yet, i keep remembering little things and laughing to myself about them. one of the best days/nights of my life, easily. ahh, it makes me happy just thinking about all the stuff that happened! crazy. we ended up on the train with drunken stag do go-ers from warrington, not for the first time in mine and marys case, so it was nothing new to us, and then when we got back to manchester, we bought £1.99 cheeseburger meals from burger king. yumyumyum. :] then we got back to mine for about 2.30 and i think i nodded off as soon as my head hit the pillow at 3am.

sunday involved me getting up at 9.10am, and wanting to die. i was knackered, so when my mum got home from cycling i went to sleep at about 4ish and was asleep til 7.30. i've still not recovered though. ah i need sleep :( i had another hour and a half earlier today, that was nice, but i'd been up til 1am last night so it didn't help to be honest. it's only tuesday and i'm like a zombie. bleh.

hmmm, i have nothing interesting to say to be honest :( i just talked to myself. bleh. i should go and stop chatting shit now.

i hope your all well and have a good week.

victoria x

crazy

i hope this year gets better, it couldn't get any worse already.

Damn.

why do i lack confidence!?

gr :'(

an overdue promise,

i've gone for a size smaller than usual, so it doesn't cut the right hand side off, so just click the picture to see it bigger if you want.

these are from between march 1st and now, some from my 365days, and some not. then i'll put some of the film i got developed up after all of these...

i'll upload film and other stuff i got developed another time, not feeling so good. X

"if you could be in my life,

like you've been on my mind, it'd be so easy"

you lit up every corner of my heart

last night at about 12.30am i was really hungry. i decided to put 3 pieces of toast under. yes i know greedy, but that was not the amazing thing that happened, i decided to put different things on each one.

Piece of toast number 1: Just had butter
Piece of toast number 2: Butter and jam
Piece of toast number 3: Chocolate spread (nutella)

It was good. really good. I've noticed that i eat a LOT of toast. i like toast and tea. it's good stuff.
hmmm...

I guess i could do a big photo blog. i will do in another post after this one. i have nothing interesting to say these days. i'm not feeling very well and i have a lot of work to do, which sucks. meh.

i'll do a photo blog later. X

an update of some sort.

it's been a while.

i'll update in photos.

day 100 - 19th february



day 101 - 20th february



day 102 - 21st february



day 103 - 22nd february



also from the 22nd,



day 104 - 23rd february



and even more from one of the best days of my life, i miss the spinto band,









day 105 - 24th february



just for a joke,



day 106 - 25th february



day 107 - 25th february



day 108 - 26th february



then i got tagged and had to take a photo without getting changed/doing my hair or editing it,



day 109 - 27th february



and todays photo is still being planned. :( i don't really like any of the photos above they lack creativity and stuff. i feel weird. i have work to do and interviews to edit, so i think i'm going to go get ready, do todays photo and then do some work, then some editing. meh.

"I wish i could bubble wrap my heart..."

Yesterdays photo.

Todays should be fun, day 100. How the hell i've gotten that far is crazy.

gonna go plot todays photo a bit. xxxxxxxxx

"but after conception your body lay cold,

and withered through autumn and you found yourself old
can you tell me why you have been so sad?"
death of interior designer - death cab for cutie

today was weird but nice. the atmosphere in stockport was horrible, couple everywhere and stuff and all valentines stuff, which doesn't bother me much, but the atmosphere was so, so strange and weird and yeah. i looked like i'd been stood up when waiting for sheridan, haaa. i think people actually thought i had been, either that or they were giving me sympathetic looks for another reason i'm not yet aware of. so anyway, today we met with will went in a few shops, then will parted and we remembered, i say we, sheridan remembered i needed cake decorating stuff so we went to asda to get some stuff. so then we went back to mine, watched the rest of hitch and made some chocolate chip biscuits. yum.

yesterday i had teh urge to bake a cake. so i made too, using food colouring made one pink and one blue. made icing for the pink one today so my sister charlotte put that on it and my little sisters decorated it. i'll decorate the blue one tomorrow i think.

mixtures.


dinosaur cake !!!!!


sheridans biscuits.


my biscuits.


so yeah i'm gonna stop now before i do rants about stupid stuff that no one wants to read about.

hope your all good!!

lots of love, victoria xxx

"if you got no kind words to say,

you should say nothing more at all,
if you got no kind words to say,
you should say nothing more at all,
if you got no kind words to say,
you should say nothing more at all."
the maccabees - no kind words

I don't know what i'd do without music. I know a lot of people say that, but i truly do mean it.
These 3 bands have had a really big influence on me: Boy Kill Boy, The Spinto Band and The Maccabees. I'm not sure what i'd do without their music. I mean, when i'm sad i listen to them, when i'm happy i listen to the, when i'm excited i listen to them, when i'm confused i listen to them. As you can see, a pattern is forming, no matter how i feel, i always listen to music. ALWAYS.

i'm not sure what i'm going to do without boy kill boy anymore. they were the first band i properly loved and would always go and see. i know a lot of people aren't fans of them so they when i mention them being my favourite band, i get a mix of reactions. that annoys me. i might not like their favourite band, but i don't slag them off when they mention them. it's weird thinking i wont see pete, kev, chris or shaz again. makes me feel sad. :(

also, through these bands, and others, i've met some amazing people. whether it's over forums, at gigs, or just randomly, and i don't think they realise how grateful i am for this. i've met so many people that are in my life now, and that i don't know what i'd do without, thanks to them. i have songs that have memories attached to them and this means even more to me, being able to remember things because of a song and being able to use lyrics to describe how i feel, i'm not good at that so it's nice to have something to relate too. music is a big part of my life and always will be.

i'm going to stop wittering on now, as it's making me sad haha! i hope everyones good.

lots of love, victoria!x

Insight.

TEN things you wish you could say to TEN different people right now.



10 – I'm glad we don't talk anymore.


9 – We're not as close as we used to be but i'm pretty glad of it, I've realised people i've met randomly over the last year, have been better friends to me in that time than you have. Your sarcastic, hurtful and annoy me at times. I actually can't wait to get away from you. I don't think i'm losing a friend at all, i'm getting rid of someone who causes me problems most of the time.


8 – I'm gutted we're probably going to go our seperate ways later this year, i don't feel like saying much more.


7 – I'm so glad i met you. seriously. i adore you, i love the fact you class us as your best friends and can feel yourself and say what you want around us because i love you for it. You mean a lot to me and i hope you don't go to a uni too far away! Your one of the best friends i have. I loved our stupid jokes when we interview people and i'm glad i met you because i can spend so much time with you!

6 - Our phone calls rock. I love you girly, i can talk to you about anything and we have stupid jokes and talk rubbish. You wont admit it, but i know you love my awful jokes. I love you girl. You better not leave me, we have uni plans.


5 – Over the past couple of years, we've all become closer. You and Harriet are the best older sisters i could ask for. You make me laugh, look out for me, take care of me and are there for me. I don't know what i'd do without you both. (all of these are pretty obvious. i don't care)

4 – I don't know you a lot yet but i enjoy talking to you :D You always cheer me up!

3 – I miss you nerdy

2 – I miss you, i'm sorry


1 - hm

NINE things about yourself.



9 – I'm indecisive.

8 – I'm a pretty good liar if needs be. I mean, i can lie about how i feel and i'm pretty convincing :D

7 - I wish more than anything, i had a musical talent, or just any talent of some sort.


6 – I wish i could sing.


5 – I work myself up really easily, over small things most of the time.

4 – I never know what to do when i recieve compliments.


3 – I hate being put on the spot. I can read fine but if made too read out infront of people, i get nervous and choke on my words, i hate it.

2 – I love quoting lyrics and well, quotes. Seriously. I don't know what i'd do if i didn't! I use lyrics to describe how i'm feeling most of the time.


1 – I find it really hard to let go of things. Wether it's a bus ticket, text, conversation, photograph, anything like that. I can't let go of it.




EIGHT of your favourite bands/singers.



8 - Boy kill boy

7 – The spinto band

6 – The Maccabees

5 – Noah and the whale

4 – Josh Weller

3 – The answering machine

2 – The futureheads

1 – The enemy


SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot.



7 – My hair looks a mess as usual.


6 - Music

5 – Conversations

4 – Regrets

3 – Friends

2 - Family

1 - Work



SIX things you do before you fall asleep.



6 – Read (most of the time)

5 – Think


4 – Think some more


3 - Text someone most likely


2 - Get into pjs.

1 – Make sure stuff is in place for the next day.



FIVE people who mean a lot at the moment.



5 - Mary

4 - Von

3 - Sheridan

2 – Mum

1 – Charlotte, Harriet and the rest of my family.


FOUR things you see right now.



4 - Sequins

3 – Phone

2 - Weird teddy

1 - Headband thing


THREE songs that you listen to often.


(at the moment...)
3 – Love story - taylor swift (I know i know, but it's catchy as hell.)

2 – Chairlift - Bruises

1 – Beyoncé - Broken-hearted (girl it might be at the end, i can't remember)


TWO things you want to do before you die.



2 – Make my family proud.


1 – Find my true love.



ONE confession

1 – I think over things too much and never let stupid little things go. I hate losing people/things and all that jazz.

"i walk the boards alone tonight and try to fill this empty space inside my chest

i took atlantic home tonight and every neon light, and sign, spelt out your name
and every morning that i wake
i make a point to check the date incase i slept an extra day
i've crossed so many numbers out
but every time i count them there are so much more"
dave melillo - sam's song

So i've not blogged properly for a good few days. nothing amazing has been happening. everything is just same old and dull to be honest. i'm slowly getting myself into a routine which is a good thing because i get stuff done easier now. well, within reason.

hmmmm. i have work to do but well, work is never appealing. ever. i've done some already anyway, i just need to finish this last part. i'll give you a quick summary of the last few days.

friday i didn't do anything exciting as per. infact i don't even remember what i did...hmmm.

yesterday i went into stockport and manchester with sheridan. we both had to get some photos printed for our portfolios, i got 36 done for £9.90. i think there's 36, i may have miscounted. now i need to actually put my portfolio together. meh. but yeah, we went put sorted that out, went into superdrug to see will, didn't cause he was on till, went into town, sheridan bought some trousers and a skirt and then i went and got my sister, charlottes camera sorted and then into the art cafe for a little tea drinking/relaxing/telling of the bad jokes time. it was nice. then we went back into stockport picked up our prints and both went our serperate ways. oh my god. i've also been learning if i were a boy by beyoncé on keyboard. it's so fun! and i learnt the chorus of rihannas disturbia. easypeasy that chorus ahah.

today i haven't done much, it's been a nice day really, i've just relaxed. although when i was doing my 365 photo, it started to snow!! i love snow but it meant i had to put a tea towel over my camera and i was also running in and out drinking some of my tea to try and keep warm. not fun. it's like 3'c or something according too bbc weather forecast. nice eh? ha. so now i'm doing bits of my history, the odd job for my mum and listening to music. hmmmm, so much random stuff in my head right now!

so i'm going to do some more work now so i can relax for the rest of tonight. my deadlines thursday. wish me luck.

love, victoria.

hmmmmm

Dear February, Be nice to me please. Love, Victoria.

X

"let me hold you for the last time,

it's the last chance to feel again,
but you broke me now i can't feel anything...
when i love you,
it's so untrue,
i can't even convince myself,
when i'm speaking,
it's the voice of someone else."
james morrison - broken strings

i've been listening to airport by the spinto band since sunday, when lisa sent it me (thanksthankss!!!) on repeat, to and from school and then again later on when i'm sat messing on the computer. i can't stop listening to it at all, it makes me excited and sad all at once! the thought of seeing the spinto band again in less than a month makes me like o.o It's not sunk in properly yet, i'm so freakin' excited!

hmmm. i've been writing this blog for abotu 30 minutes now, i stopped whilst i was looking at photos...so back to this blog anyway.

i've just been reading some postsecrets that are on flickr. funnily enough a lot link to people not being able to say what they want to someone and always regretting it. or doing something wrong and wishing they could go back. it's sad how we can't be honest to the people that mean most to us when we really need to be. but then i guess that's what some people do to you, make it hard for you too tell them how you feel honestly. it does make me wonder though, as you get older does it become easier for you to be more honest? or is it easier to hide things from people or lie to people? and as for doing things wrong and wishing you could go back, i think we're meant to have times like that because if your in the same situation again, you know this time that you'll regret it in the future, we need to learn more from our mistakes instead of just regretting them and wondering what it'd be like if you hadn't done/said that...(i do that all the time but i think now i'm learning from it, finally)

I think i've blabbered on enough for tonight. i feel sorry for anyone that reads my blogs, sometimes i just have to rant on here because if not it'll all be floating round my head for a while and it'll mean more day dreaming for me. i can't wait for it to be light again for longer.

i hope everyones good and that your all taking care of yourselves!

love, victoria

"i tried to do handstands for you,

i tried to do handstands for you,
everytime i fell on you,
yeah everytime i fell,
i tried to do handstands for you,
but everytime i fell for you,
i'm permanently black and blue,
permanently blue for you"
chairlift - bruises

still feeling gooooooooooooooooood
but very sleepy.
i'm going to go too bed soon so i'm not going to update properly, i will tomorrow though.

lots of love, victoria XXXX

"so many destination faces going to so many places,

where the weather is much better,
and the food is so much cheaper.
well i help her with her baggage for her baggage is so heavy,
i hear the plane is ready by the gateway to take my love away.
and i can't believe that she really wants to leave me and it's getting me so,
it getting me so..."
the spinto band - airport (cover, click to listen, i've had it on repeat :D)

i feel good today. i had 2 nice phone calls which is always a bonus.
i'm so sleepy, i'm not sure how i'm going to get up tomorrow. hmmmm. i did a cinderella jigsaw before, it was really cool, i want to do some more. anyone got some jigsaws they can lend me? i forgot how much i liked them lol. i even got to see some stars earlier. i love stars.

i'm so excited for this year. (it's took me 25 days to realise that this year could be amazing if i do certain things)

hearts an fly is going to get somewhere, we're going to take over the world. (well maybe not but the schofield sisters will take over the world at some point and in some way!)
the leftover sessions - we will definately take over some part of the music related world. we have interviews coming up with quite a few people which excites me a hell of a lot. seriously.
projects - i'm going to plan ahead for my photos and stuff. i'm not happy with how there turning out so the only way to make sure i am is by planning.
i need to make a timetable to follow, if not i just do nothing. i refuse to do nothing, i have to many ideas to do nothing.


i am feeling great. (I wont be saying that tomorrow morning.)

love, victoria. xxxxxxxxx



p.s dear world, i am in love with you. lots of love, me.

"i know you were not new,

it looked like may in june,
all the same i miss you,
today has been okay,
today has been okay."
emiliana torrini - today has been okay

todays photo.



looks better bigger!

that top i have on was my mums boyfriends...he got given it like 5 years ago and when she was cleaning out their wardrobe she found it and gave it me...it's really big...extremely big.

hope everyones good, i'll update properly tomorrow! xx

"the world was on fire

no one could save me but you.
strange what desire will make foolish people do,
i never dreamed that i'd meet somebody like you,
and i never dreamed that i'd lose somebody like you."
giant drag - wicked game (click to listen to the cover)

ow. let's just say my tooth is killing. i've never had a filling before, so i didn't know what to expect, so me and rach (my little sister) went in and she numbed rachs mouth first. next it was my turn, i didn't know she was going to so when i saw the needle i was thinking, right okay fair enough, don't mind needles, i was just praying my mouth didn't go all dodgey on one side/that i'd be able to talk normally because of getting on the bus haha. so yeah she did that and then rach was back in the seat and i was watching. took about 10 minutes, or atleast it felt like that, for her to do rachs then it was my turn, it didn't hurt at all, however i didn't appreciate the woman with the suction thingy nearly sucking up my cheek. that was a strange feeling. but yeah it was done and i thought, this isn't actually bad, nothing to be bothered about, got home and 2 hours later the numbing stuff had worn off. :l pain set in. it's been hurting for atleast 3-4 hours now. it was hard to stay calm for rach when i was so nervous, but i managed and she didn't shed a tear this time :]

meh. oh well. :[!

i hope everyone is good and that their teeth are all in good shape, if not, i feel for you.

-victoria XX

"I've hardly been outside my room in days,

'Cause I don't feel that I deserve the sunshine's rays.
The darkness helped until the whiskey wore away,
And it was then I realised the conscience never fades.
When you're young you have this image of your life,
That you'll be scrupulous and one day even make a wife.
And you make boundaries you'd never dream to cross,
And if you happen to, you wake completely lost."
missy higgins - the special two

strange. i have the dentist today. i'm quite scared for a change, i usually love it, but now i have a new dentist and i have to have my first ever filling. she said it was only a little one but i'm nervous. urgh. it's worse because it'll just be me and my younger sister, although she's 11, she hates the dentist and she ended up having some sort of crying thing last time, so i'm worried that's going to happen again. ahrjhgjfsd!! :(

i wish i was one of those people that had a way with words, the people that can write anything and the people that write books that you can't put down and wish you were a character in, or the people that write beautiful lyrics that you can relate too when you feel in a certain way. i mean, i do write the odd little poem, lyrics and so on but nothing that would impress people. i've never been a person that people are drawn to because of a certain thing about them. i'll just keep dreaming :D

i had a real weird dream last night, i can't even remember it properly now because my head is feeling heavy and hurting. atleast i have a cuppa tea. i think i'll go and make some toast in a minute and try thinking of stuff to take my mind off the dentist. hmmm. i hope everyones good and all, and yeah, i'll blog later after i've been through to the dentist :(

love, victoria XX

"we're not the same, dear, as we used to be

the seasons have changed and so have we,
there was little we cold say and even less that we could do,
to stop the ice from getting thinner under me and you

we buried our love in the wintery grave,
a lump in the snow was all that remained,
but we stayed by its side, as the days turned to weeks,
and the ice kept getting thinnner with every word that we'd speak

when the spring arrived, we were taken by suprise,
when the flows under our feet bled into the sea,
and nothing was left for you and me

we're not the same dear and it seems to me,
there's no where we can go with nothing underneath,
then it saddens me to say what we both knew was true,
the ice was getting thinner under me and you...

the ice was getting thinner under me and you."
death cab for cutie - the ice is getting thinner

i love that song.

f a i l.

today i got my mock results. lol. oh god. they were SO bad, but i'm hoping that will give me the kick up the ass i needed to get my ass into gear and revising and all. i hate asking for help in lessons but now i am going to because if not i'll just do shit.
you may aswell know my shitty results haha...

maths - E (my bad)
music - D
modern history - D
english - C
french - C
catering - C
i think thats it, i didn't get a science one it was that bad haha. my bad. :(


oh well now i'm more determined.

i'm sure i've scrubbed some skin off trying to get that face paint off lol. it hurt! my skin is still stinging now. damn. oh well :]

-victoria (i'll blog properly tomorrow, i'm hooked on hana yori dango, for the second time!)



here's another version of me looking very oriental.

ALSO! do me a favour? Check my friend out, he's new to flickr but he is an amazing artist so go look at his stuff. seriously it's amazing and unique. (And believe me, when i say unique, i mean it.) or his blog

"sometimes i feel so down and out

like emotion thats been captured in a maze,
i had my ups and downs trials and tribulations,
i overcome it day by day,
feeling good and almost powerful
a new me, thats what i'm looking for."
sugababes - stronger

i didn't get a chance to update yesterday due to extreme tiredness after i got back, so i'll blog about yesterday now!

16/01/2009

so i got back a science result for my gcse, we had to do 6 exams throughout year 10 and a piece of coursework, so i managed to get a C overall. so that's now 1 gcse done which is cool. i hate science though...I also got my maths re-sits back, i had 2 C's and i've gone up to a B on one...i'm happy with that, a bit annoyed with that c staying though, it obviously doesn't wat to leave, however it does mean i can "1 2 3, it's easy as a b c" and all that. or i can even be witty and msn like and say "cba", Hilarious, i know.

So after that me and charlotte went to my dad and francescas for the chicken curry night, so when we got there we had a drink of tea told them about interviews we have coming up with bands and then we left it cooking and went and watched a film called "shrooms" It was crap. It wasn't actually a good film anyway but it made me jump, it was quite creepy! The twist was sick too ahaha. Oh well. So yeah after that we watched some flight of the conchords and then the chicken curry was done...it was around 11 at this point i think...it was so so so so good though, it was worth the wait, amazingly nice curry. so whilst we were eating we decided to watch celeb big brother, me and charlotte don't really watch it but we were hoping that liberty x bitch would be voted out. She wasn't. Gutted.

That's about it for yesterday, it was nice and all :] i really enjoyed it a lot and we're doing a mexican night next time, wooo! exciting stuff :D so now onto todays post...

so me and sheridan went into town to do some photos for our portfolios...it didn't really happen, we met with coxy so he could be in a couple of photos and then we were meant to do some more but well, that didn't happen. We went into the craft centre, coxy hadn't been in before so we though it'd be cool, we ended up talking to a guy, kyle, it was really weird but cool. So he ended up coming to the art cafe (aka nexus) and having a drink with us and spending a couple of hours listening to us talk shit. turns out he's a second year at manchester uni doing photography so that's cool. it's always nice to find new people with the same hobby and all that jazz.

I wish i was confident enough to talk to people i didn't know! I hate how if i don't know someone a lot i can't talk a lot around them because i worry people will take it the wrong way because they don't understand i'm joking or being sarcastic...hmmm, oh well. my confidence is getting a little better as the weeks go by i think, well i hope anyway! i want to make more new friends and all. it's nice to meet aand talk to new people that are different in ways...yeah. cool.

i'm going to stop rambling on. i'm sleepy. but not. i really want to watch a film, i might go and watch one, hmmm...

hope your all alright!

-victoria XX

todays photo is poo.


and yesterdays is not worth posting. X

"oh, and when will your hand find itself in mine?

and though i don't know your real name,
your real age, or your shoe size,
i will leave this bedroom chair,
and this keyboard behind...
and i will love you in reality and dreams"
second lover - noah and the whale

i failed chemistry, it was hard. i can tell i have. but oh well. i can re-sit in june, even though i really don't want to. :(

i get maths re-sit results tomorrow! i'm excited but not, i hope they actually come tomorrow i'll be so annoyed if we have to wait longer. i want to know if i've done better or not...i hope i've done okay!

i'm going to have to watch hana yori dango (boys over flowers) again, i loved that, it's sad they didn't do a lot of episodes, but if they had it'd of been ruined i guess.

I don't really have much else to say to be honest, i'm pretty tired as per usual. oh well, curry night tomorrow, yay! :D

- victoria xxx

"i am running out of words to say to you,

wondering why im wastin' my time
thinking back and wondering why im such a fool
for loving you"
your biggest fan - nevershoutnever

i'm so glad we get to go home after the exam tomorrow afternoon. even if it's only 10 minutes, better than nothing. i've been revising chemistry for the last few hours but my internet is playing up which is annoying as it wont load sometimes :(

i'm still tired but i'm looking forward to friday as me and one of my sisters', charlotte and i are going to my dad and his girlfriends, frans, for a curry night :D and saturday i will be in manchester taking photos with sheridan for our portfolios. we're using each other as models in some pictures, mwuahaha. :D

i'm listening to miley cyrus - 7 things. i hate her but that song is so god damn catchy! me and my friend spent today in science writing stupid songs, haha, it was amazing, we are the next best thing, we're probably going to take over the world at some point i think!

i'm going to stop wittering on about nothing and go make a drink of tea and continue to revise, hope everyone is well and all!

love victoria xxx

"It's a beautiful day,

now i'll be ok now that youre not away
yesterday was a terrible day
and now that youre here i'm ok..."
that's so you - the rocket summer

i am sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy!!!
unbelievably sleepy. i nearly fell asleep in history today. i wish i had.

not really sure what to say today, i need to get revising chemistry and doing some more catering c/w as my teacher is going to help me tomorrow with it. finally.
hmmm, i best start doing both now or i'll be up late, AGAIN.
sorry for the crappy blog post, i hope everyones good!

and still needing help with choosing pictures for my portfolio. as i said before, comment on any you like and if you don't have flickr, just comment with the links on here :)
wwww.flickr.com/photos/ihatepigeons/

victoria XX